Things I Think About

First, let me say that "Ziggy Stardust" by Bauhaus just came on and made me the happiest girl EVAR!

OK, now on to the rest. I just wanted to post because I was thinking about some things. Some fears. I am just going to go ahead and put these in list form because it's easier. These are not serious but they are important to me and real. I think about these things often.

~ What if I don't loose any cup sizes when I lose weight. I am down 7 lbs and my bra still fits tight. Oy.

~ What if I overeat and it ruins my 1,211 calorie diet completely?! AAAAH NO! I am really afraid I'll fail. I've failed before. Obviously. I want this time to be THEE time I get into peak health and fitness. I don't want to do it again. Just this one last time.

~ What if when I'm in shape I still cannot run in this hillacious neighborhood of mine? That is kind of a goal of mine. Although, I never see anyone else trying to run it and I rarely see anyone walking it, either.

~ What if I can't afford to buy a new wardrobe? I already donated my old clothes to a good cause aka a friend with a new, slightly more curvy post-baby body. I'm glad that all my old stuff could be put to good use. I am not going to use the fact that I can't just go out and buy a ton of clothes as an excuse not to get fit though. ;)

Some things I do NOT fear, and things I actually look forward to are:

~ Being able to buy bras anywhere I shop. This might not come true but I hope it does because I can't imagine having to find a G cup with a band two to three sizes smaller. LOL

~ Necklaces will fit better. All my rings won't fit but I don't care. To ME (and this is totally personal) jewelry looks better on me when I'm thinner.

~ I will find and get away with wearing cuter clothes. I have my eye on these totally fun ruffle butt leggings. Yeah, I said it. Only a skinny girl can wear leggings without a crotch-covering shirt in my opinion. I have seen thick girls totally rock a leggings-as-pants getup and loved it but these have RUFFLES and I just can't see it. Plus they only come in XS-L and while I don't have a big butt by any stretch of the imagination, I AM a curvy girl and it would just not be right to add to the pad. haha

~ SIT-UPS! Belly fat gets in the way of doing a proper sit-up. I can't wait til that's not true. I am doing crunches and other forms of ab work in the meantime. I just want to do what I cannot.

~ SHOES SHOES SHOES! I have a lot of shoes and some of the heels have become a tad to tight to call comfy and I can't wait to wear them again.

~ Makeup contouring. I have always had chubby cheeks and that's OK. Not my favorite but I'm OK with it, however, I never used to highlight and contour when I did my makeup. Now when I do my makeup I would say 60-70% of the time I contour, add blush, highlight. I love makeup but I wish I had deeper cheek hollows sometimes, like I used to.

~ The praise! I would be a liar if I didn't admit that I am excited to hear all the omg you look so goods, the wow you look awesomes, the Val, you lost a small toddlers. HAHA Nobody wants to feel fat and everyone loves praise for their hard work. If you don't, I would check into therapy because you might have a fear of success or something. lol jk

~ The FEELING. This one is big and it is the one I look most forward to. I look forward to the way it FELT to be a curvy but slender girl. I didn't get to enjoy this much when I had it because although I was only 125lbs, I had just had a baby and was 10lbs heavier than pre-pregnancy. I felt fat. Yep. I said it. I was ignorant. I plan to revel in this no fat rolls, can bend my flexible self any which way I please without restrictions, don't have a problem with low cut pants, since I have to wear stretchy shirts because of being so graciously boobed I don't have to worry about muffin top and back fat...yeah it will be great and I will love every second of it. I might even flaunt it when I have it. Why not?!

That's my piece. I just want to add one more thing. I hear people say that being a certain weight or size won't make you happy and I TOTALLY AGREE! I feel like you really have to love yourself as a person for all that you are and have and love and who loves you to be happy. I do. And I can't wait to do it in a skinnier body. :) This house is too large for one skinny girl. I'm moving into a studio apartment. LOL